Cry Me A River

As of last Tuesday, yours truly has been released from the chains of confinement! Which I celebrated with... you guessed it... an ice cold Pepsi! Not the one Ms M gave me, which remains on my book-shelf unopened to this day, but one hubs got for me at KFC. Btw, Ray seemed fine and not kembung or anything after b*feeding after I consumed said Pepsi, thank God. Anyway, despite being finally free, I'm not about to go paint my butt blue and run around mooning my enemies a'la Braveheart & co. My mood has slowly been going downhill towards a full-fledged depression as hubs day of departure to that tiny country down south draws near.

I'm currently writing this blog on the bed of our freezing cold hotel room in JB while the rest of my family sleeps. I've just had a crying spell, sobbing quietly as I checked out my notifications in F*book. My eyes are red and puffy and I'm sure I'll wake up with a head-ache in the morning. We drove down earlier in the day with my PILs, crammed in FIL's ancient Merc. Since Ray doesn't have his passport yet (or his MyKid for that matter.. must remember to collect it upon return to KL), we won't be sending hubs all the way across the Causeway. Tomorrow hubs will board a bus from Larkin and head to S'pore on his own. So I'm trying to get all my crying done in the dead of the night so I won't burst into tears during the drive back to KL tomorrow.

My mom told me husbands leave their families all the time to go and cari rezeki on other countries. My own dad, a former diplomat, flew all over the place. When we kids were little we'd follow him, but we stopped after my dad got posted to Phnom Penh which is a pretty scary place to raise kids. So we saw him like 2 times a year for three years. And even my FIL left the family behind up to months at a time when he was working with the government during younger days. My BFF's husband is away for weeks each month for the family biz. And look at all those foreign workers who leave their families by the boat load to work in other countries. So I'm not the only crying wife with young kids in the world, though it certainly feels that way.

Isn't it weird that other people are pouring into the country to work here while our citizens are finding jobs in other countries? It makes you realise that there's always people who have a harder life than yours.

Okay, obviously I'm talking gibberish from the lack of sleep and bodily fluids.. so I'd better stop right here. Hope to write again in a better mood.

South of The Border

Tomorrow marks my hub's last day at his current work place, here. He's been there since it first started operations in 2003. Hubs decided that he hasn't gotten where he wants to be in the hotel employee hierarchy after four years, so he's decided to quit and move on to greener pastures. For most Malaysian hotel workers, apparently it's the trend to seek job opportunities overseas. Anyone who knows the current conditions of working in the Malaysian hotel industry would totally understand. I read an newspaper article about this a while back. The hot job spots of the moment are Macau and Dubai.

Anyway, hubs applied for and successfully landed a job in Singapore here. He'll be starting work there in mid-November and will be under contract for two years. So where does that leave me and the kids, you ask? After much discussion, it was decided that while hub's new job will pay loads more than his current one, it will still not be enough to guarantee financial freedom for our little family in case I stopped working and moved with the kids to Singapore. Plus have you heard about the outrageous living costs down there? Since I currently have a reasonably well-paying job at one of the top employers in the country, I'll continue working in KL and move back to my parent's house with the kids. Singapore's just a few hours drive away (less than an hour by plane), so hubs can come back to KL practically every week or we could go down there occasionally (I'm dreading boarding a bus with a baby and a toddler so hubs better save up for plane tickets!!).

I'm having mixed feelings right now. It's a wonderful opportunity for hubs but at the same time I can't help feeling selfish. The longest I've been apart from hubs since we got married is five days (he had a conference in Bali). I'm going to miss him to bits but I'm more worried about the kids. Eez is really manja with his Papa and waits for him to come home from work every day. Ray is still so tiny and hasn't really had a chance to bond with hubs yet.

I'm really lucky to have great friends and a fantastic family to support me in KL. My mom has already had my brother's room repainted and cleared out for us to move into since it's bigger than my old room. And BFF Ms M has promised lots of girlie outings without husbands and kids!

So I'm on auto-pilot right now.. counting down the days until he leaves. The sad thing is that he won't be here to provide moral support when I go back to work next month! Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.. meanwhile, I keep telling myself to be strong....

Tradional vs Modern

I never thought I'd be the type of person to cave under pressure. Maybe it's because I work full-time and I'm used to being independent and active. The thing is, this confinement is killing me! While I was preggers with Ray and still working I had grand ideas on how to fully utilize my maternity leave. You know.. do it the traditional way like eating pegaga, wearing my bengkung for the full 44 days, eating jamu, jaga makan, wearing socks 24/7, not going out... I got some pegaga plants a friend and planted them in a pot in my back-yard. I even googled and saved all sorts of healthy pantang recipes to try out.

Now, 3-and-a-half weeks into my confinement, I feel my resolve weakening. I've eaten ulam pegaga about 3 or 4 times only. I've had pizza twice and McD a few times. And during this first week of Raya I'm ashamed to admit my socks and bengkung have been sitting in my wardrobe! On the 2nd day of Raya my MIL actually let me follow them to visit the houses of 2 relatives. Some of you traditionalists must be shaking your heads in disapproval. Okay, I'm not so proud of myself, either! I do take the jamu every day, though. And also the jeli ibu gamat my dad got from Langkawi. And instead of socks I wear my fluffy bedroom slippers. And apart from my mom's birthday dinner and the Raya visits I haven't gone out.

But.. the bengkung is a torture in itself. During the first week the bidan urut put chalk and lime juice on my tummy before strapping me in. Nice and hot plus not so messy but hard to put on by yourself. After my massage sessions ended I couldn't be bothered to mix up the chalk and lime juice so I just used the Minyak Herbanika from Nona Roguy. Then a friend gave me her left over Herbanika Barut to use. Aiyoo.. first you have to cook the thing with tamarind juice into a paste. Nak pakai is another thing... so messy. And later in the afternoon the paste will dry and harden all over your tummy under the bengkung and start to itch! So I used that about 3 times before reverting to just the minyak. I've promised hubs I'll start wearing it again next week... hmmmm...

As I've mentioned before, my mom has a real modern approach when it comes to confinement. She's not really that strict on what I eat as long as it's not too spicy or contains anything sejuk. Her usage of black pepper in the preparation of my meals is quite moderate though she did make me these nasty ginger pickles to eat with my rice. My MIL is more traditional. She cooks me a lot of fish sprinkled liberally with ginger and black pepper and all sorts of other good, healthy pantang type dishes. Unlike during my first confinement, this time I can drink as much water as I want as long as it's not icy or refrigerated. I'm also not allowed to go up and down the stairs too much. So I sort of swing back and forth in my confinement practices, depending on where I'm currently staying!

In the end, I'm trying to keep a balance between the two. I'm eating as healthily as I can and am putting off going out for another week or so. Meanwhile, the bottle of Pepsi given to me by Ms M waits faithfully on top of my wardrobe...

Eid Mubarak

Okay... I've been a naughty girl.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. To celebrate, my dad treated the whole family to a Japanese dinner here. The whole family including me and the baby, that is. My mom is quite modern-minded. She doesn't care that I'm still in my confinement. She had 3 of her kids overseas and as she put it, "Takde pantang-pantang pun.. kalau tak, sape nak jaga korang anak-beranak! Sihat jugak.." (If my MIL knew.. abis I.. but that's another story!). I'm happy to report that I can fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans! Okay, so they were my fat jeans and I still have a mummy tummy, but I'm still happy about it. Hahaha...

So anyway, the food there was great! I'm not a big fan of sushi or sashimi so I stuck to the tempura and teppanyaki. Definitely value for money! Ray behaved fairly well on his first outing. Our table was in the corner so I was able to discreetly b*feed him. After that he just lepak in the stroller... I think he was like confused 'cos despite yawning every 10 minutes he didn't fall asleep until we left!

However, after the success of last night I think I'm going to put off going out with Ray for another few weeks or so. The peace and quite of a hotel is one thing, but I'm not ready to face mass crowds at shopping malls! Kesian kat Ray also.. he's still such a tiny little guy. Let's see how I feel once the invites for Raya open houses start coming in though... :-)

On that note, it's past midnight so it's officially the first day of Syawal. I'd like to wish all Muslims a Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri and Maaf Zahir & Batin. For those going back to the kampung during the holidays, drive safely and hope to see you back in KL safe and sound.