Growing Up

Once in a while I tend to get a tad morbid and start obsessing about the future. Maybe it's due to my new status as a temporary single mother to two baby boys and being in charge of the family finances. Or it could be my parents reaching retirement age with two of my adiks still in uni/college and the youngest still in high school. Then again, it could be the fact that I will be turning 30 next year!!! Whatever the reason, I've started worrying about money, my future, my kids futures and then back to money again.

Despite being a banker for about 7 years, I am practically clueless about my own money. Totally like Becky Bloomwood in the Shopaholics books! Seriously, when I was single I had a straight forward approach to handling my personal finances. My salary went in my account, I'd withdraw said salary and spend spend spend. After my parents generously forked out the down-payment for my first car (a dinky little Kancil my brother subsequently inherited from me), part of my salary went towards car payments, petrol and the general up-keep of my car. I did open an ASB account where I managed to park a few hundred RMs but failed to maintain regular deposits 'cos I lacked the self-discipline. Then I was introduced to the bane of young urbanites every where - credit cards. So another chunk of my cash went towards credit card payments. Nothing towards savings, I'd frequently find myself broke by the end of the month.

A few years down the line after getting married, I've diversified my cash out-flow. My mom has always stressed the importance of financial independence on her daughters. Basically not to depend 100% on our husbands (or father) for money and to make and save our own money. So, upon her advice, I obtained an ASB loan as a form of forced savings. I also got me some life insurance upon the insistence of my dad. Then my kids came into the picture. We've gotten both of them their own education insurance and bank accounts which we try to maintain as regularly as our finances permit. I would like to put more money away towards the boys' futures but truthfully what we're spending now is about all we can afford. Still, sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit, right?

Now that R's working in Singapore, we're going to be a bit more well off than before. I've totally committed myself to the proper handling of the hard-earned money he'll be sending back. I'll be able to put more money towards paying off our credit card debts (when will it end????) and pay off our various bills with a comfortable balance left over. I plan to invest part of it in ASB and Tabung Haji (though I have yet to open an account, classic procrastinating) and sock another part of it away in a savings account for emergencies.

In another unprecedented move, I've started thinking about investing in unit trusts, a totally new area for me. You know, make my money work for me and all that. There's so many types to chose from - syariah compliant or conventional, equities, bonds, growth funds... maybe I'll just get me a nice, patient fund manager who'll kindly explain all the details to me. Gosh, just thinking about it all makes my head spin.

Oh, and one of my New Year's resolutions is to pay for everything with cash and stop depending on my credit cards, a move totally supported by dear hubs. It's time for me to finally stop fooling around and get down to business. You know, the business of raising my family and providing a reasonably brighter future for my boys. This growing up stuff is for the birds, but we all gotta do it sooner or later.

Of McBs and Other Random Things..

Aiyooo.. since I started back at work last week, I've been running around like a chicken takde kepala!! Now that I'm no longer pregnant, I am no longer accorded "special" status in the office. Which means I'm expected to shoulder a heavier work load, go back late and forget about having some semblance of a personal life. However, I'm beating the system by getting in early so I can have a leisurely breakfast with my friends (no more tercekik on a rushed karipap), starting work at 8.45 am on the dot and working like a drone all day with breaks for my expressing sessions, lunch and solat.

I've gotten my pumping sessions down to a more or less fixed schedule. I express twice a day at the office - around 11.20 am and then again at 4.2o pm. If I'm feeling really rushed or stressed, I get only 3oz. Normally, I get around 4-6 oz per session which is stored in my trusty Av*nt cups. I wrap the filled cups in a plastic bag and stuff it as far as it can go into the back of the office fridge. The only person who knows what I'm up to is the kakak who sits next to me. Though I'm certain my boss knows something is up when I pick up my bright pink tote bag and slip quietly out the door twice a day! Oh.. and in the morning I express in the surau, but in the afternoon I have to express in the toilet two floors up from my office 'cos the surau's always full. It's the cleanest and quietest toilet I've found so far and the cleaning lady cleans it at 4pm every day, just before I do my thing.

When I've completed my work, I quickly cabut around 6.30 pm. If there's no traffic jam and there's a yoga class I can take, I change into my yoga gear at the studio and streeeeettttcccchhh my bandas, engage my muscles and sweat it out. If not, I head straight home and chill with my little monkeys. There's the usual fight to get Eez to eat dinner and later go to bed. Then if I still have the energy, I pull out my laptop and surf for awhile. I try not to stay up too late 'cos Ray wakes me up in the middle of the night for his feedings and I don't want to feel and look like crap in the morning!

Okay.. so basically that's my average week day. I'm sort of summarizing everything 'cos it's already late and I really should be getting to bed!!

Oh.. and my R's coming back tonite!!!

Madrasati

I was driving to work yesterday listening to Era.fm ('cos I love their morning crew!). They were asking people to call up and sing their school songs. Which got me to thinking about my school... and realising that after 12 years I still remember every word of the freakin' school song!! Of course la.. I only had to sing it every Monday for five years. And oh my God.. I totally hated my school when I was there. But isn't weird now I'm okay with it and strangely enough.. kinda miss it?

This is my alma mater, far away in the wild wild jungles of Raub, Pahang. It's a sekolah berasrama penuh, one of the more ulu ones in my day. Haha! Back then, to get there you had to take a bus from Pekeliling or Pudu which took about 3 hours. There was no convenient MRR2 then. You had to go through Setapak to Gombak to the Karak Highway and endure endless turning roads along deep ravines until you finally got to the little town o' Raub. The best thing about the town was the yummy nasi ayam behind the bus-stop and the local 2-storey Jaya supermarket where we did our shopping. Other than that, there really wasn't much else! From there, you took another bus trip (which cost only 55 sen!) to the school. Or you could get a taxi for RM5.

Everyone who's been to boarding school knows about prep. You know, the time you're supposed to be studying and doing homework but instead you read Taiwan comics, listen to Pilihan Bersama on your walk-mans hidden in your baju, gossip, nap and sometimes play Chess? And lining up to get your grub at the dewan makan. Apart from the infamous nasi kawah, ours served such exotic dishes such as ikan surat khabar, ayam masak kuning, ikan jaket and sotong tin. We also enjoyed kicap Besta, bread from the local factory across the road, extremely sweet tea and tasteless coffee.

Our dorms were a 10 minute walk along the gajah menyusur from school. The water pressure in our toilets was unpredictable so we usually ended up mass bathing around the kolah. Behind the kolah and clothes lines was a chain-link fence which separated us from the secondary jungle from where we were treated to a regular weekly show from the crazy flasher from the nearby village! Hmmm.. I could go on and on about that school. How I loved and hated it from the moment I set foot there on 15 Dec 1990! But it's getting late and you probably have better things to do anyway than read about me rambling on about some obscure place.

Oh, and for the record, here's my school song:

Inilah sekolah yang tercinta
SEMESTA itulah namanya
Mendidik dan membina anak-anak negara
Mencapai segala cita-cita

Kepada para guru semua
Jasamu tiada tandingnya
Bekerja dan berusaha
Tidak mengenal masa
Demi masa depan kita

Berilmu, beramal, berbudi setiap masa
Pada Rukun Negara
Kami akan setia

Oh Tuhan yang Maha Kuasa
Jayakanlah kami semua
Selamat dan sentosa
Sihat setiap masa
Berjaya, SEMESTA, berjaya!

Keja keja kejaaaaaa...

Okay... it's almost 12.30am and I'm still awake. I'm not supposed to be awake. I have work tomorrow! Yes, folks.. the dreaded day has finally arrived. You know the old saying... time flies when you're having fun. Wait.. so the confinement part of my leave wasn't fun, but the remainder was fantastic. Waking up late, eating what I wanted when I wanted, hugging and kissing my babies whenever I wanted, going out in the middle of the day, watching TV all day... gosh, the list is endless.

So I don't know when I'll next be updating my blog. Line memang tak clear la to blog at the office, unless I come in really early or leave really late. Which I so do not plan on doing, if I can help it!

As I'm still b*feeding, I've packed my trusty Av*nt pump into it's supposedly stylish cooler bag. I've also packed my office staples of Milo 3-in-1 (our tea lady makes horrible Milo), biskut jem nenas timbang and mints. I've placed my work shoes by the door ready to stuff my feet into tomorrow morning. My new work clothes have been ironed and are hanging behind my bedroom door. I've dusted off my "work" handbag and transferred my essentials (purse, tissues, lip gloss, compact) into it. I've dug out my security pass and placed it ready to put on next to my handbag.

So, fully prepared for work.. all that remains is that I get some shut-eye. On that note, good night, dear friends. I'll return to fluffyhead land again some time soon, this time as a working mom...

I Wanna Be...

I have just realised that I have a week left of maternity leave before I go back to work. I'm due back at the office on 27th Nov. The horror! Despite my brand new work outfits hanging in my wardrobe, I'm so not looking forward to rejoining the rat race. Besides my monthly salary, I do not see the point of dragging my sorry behind to sit behind a desk for a minimum of 8 hours a day making other people rich. It's certainly not fulfilling for me. Despite that, I've been putting off quitting and finding a new job over and over again because of new commitments every year that require the money my job brings in. Argkh!

I never envisioned myself working where I am when I was younger. Do you remember in primary school every year they had you write down your top three choices of profession on this card that went into your school file? When you're a kid, all jobs are cool. You'd get answers like askar, anggota polis, ahli bomba, angkasawan (a friend of mine put angkasawati - feminism rears it's head even at that tender age)... plus the standard ones of guru, doktor, peguam, doktor haiwan and wartawan. Whoever heard of a kid putting down eksekutif bank as their ambition? I sure never did. For the record, my answers year after year were pegawai tadbir dan diplomatik (my dad's job), guru (my mom's job) and doktor (my mom's chosen profession for me). Shows how I lacked the imagination (or was it the effort?) to come up with new professions each year.

Anyway, going back to work means leaving behind TWO babies now. Depression time again! When I went back to work after having Eez I didn't have hubs to support me 'cos he was away attending a conference in Bali. Now when I go back to work he's not here again 'cos he's in S'pore! My mom will be taking care of the boys, so at least I don't have to stress about them being taken care of by strangers. Poor Eez, he's gotten used to seeing me in the day time unlike before. I'm going to miss him saying, "Hey, Mom!", "Watcha doin', Mom?", "Shayaaaaaanggggg Mama!" every ten minutes. I'm probably going to turn into one of those mothers who call up their kids from work and talk in baby voices loud enough for the entire office to hear, God forbid. And I'm going to miss little Ray with his gorgeous baby smell which never fails to cheer me up. If I could bottle that special baby smell and sell it, I'd be an instant millionaire, I tell you.

Who knows what the coming new year will bring, though... maybe I will quit my job after all. I might move down south if the conditions are right. I might start that business after all and make boat loads of cash so I don't need to leave my kids. We'll see..

Wonder Woman

Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of my joints creaking and my muscles protesting the stress I've put them through during the yoga classes I've taken! Honestly, I didn't know it would be so hard to just sit and relax! There's all these different poses with dodgy names (which sound a lot better in Sanskrit!) and they are actually really complicated to do. Plus there's a big deal about controlling your breathing at the same time. I was really working hard to get the moves right while the people around me were calmly executing the poses with perfect grace and posture. Alamak.. so malu! Even the ah so in the grungy sweat pants and tattooed eyebrows was even more limber than me!

I've taken two classes so far -yesterday I had yogilates (I first heard this cool term in The OC) and today was Gentle Flow. Both were beginner classes but I was sweating like mad after the first 10 minutes of the class. But I felt really good afterwards and energetic once the endorphins kicked in. But when I woke up this morning... OMG I felt like death warmed over. My whole body was aching especially my waist and my legs. After a whole year of no exercise due to pregnancy and child-birth, my stomach muscles were totally shot and my leg muscles had gone soft. But in order to achieve my dream of a flat stomach and firm body, I will persevere!

I've never been one for dieting.. I love my Pepsi and chocolate and ice-cream too much. I was a stick during school but all that changed once I reached my twenties. After 2 babies I doubt that I'll ever be a stick again. When my weight went up after having Eez, I tried to diet by cutting out rice. That lasted about 2 days. I even tried Herbalife which lasted about 2 weeks. I simply must eat! So I guess to keep the weight down I have to exercise and try to limit my unhealthy food intake (no more late night McD suppers). I'm not a big fan of gyms with good-looking model type people parading around in expensive fitness attire. I don't like to jog since all those reports about lone female joggers getting mugged, raped and worse. The treadmill at home is just too boring and I don't have the discipline to exercise regularly at home. Who does? How many people have converted their treadmills and exercise bikes into expensive clothes hangers? So group exercise is perfect for me.. the anonymity and at the same time the feeling of comradeship with all the other huffing and puffing, out-of-shape people around.

So tomorrow morning I will enjoy my nasi lemak with a cup of hot Milo. And snacks during the day... perhaps even a chocolate bar! I am breast-feeding after all which helps keep the weight down and I need the extra calories. Good excuse, right? There's a Yin Yoga class tomorrow that the receptionist says is a good beginner class. If my muscles aren't taut as strings tomorrow, I'll give it a go.

Shopaholics Anonymous

OMG I have been doing some serious retail therapy lately! You know what they say, when the cat's away the mice will go shopping. Seriously, I've single-handedly boosted the country's economy since hubs went to Singapore last Saturday.

Even before he left we went out for some "last-minute shopping for supplies" which amounted to a bunch of new unmentionables and socks for hubs, Avent cups (necessity), his-and-her Cr*cs slippers (which I don't really need but were too cute to resist and hub's pair was a sort of going away present) and three new work shirts for moi (self-motivation to go back to work). Then, my kakak came over during Deepavali break and we went to JJ to utilise her Shopping Day voucher. The damage? Two pairs of work pants and brand new undies. Thank God it was raining or we'd probably have headed over to the fab street market at The Curve. Yesterday I went out with Ms M and bought this book (thinking of taking up a new hobby) and another work 2 shirts. Today Ms M and her little 'un accompanied me to pick up Ray's MyKid at Maju Junction. Then we headed to BV where thankfully I resisted the urge to spend. I only spent RM5 for my threading session.

Okay, I'm trying to justify my spending by telling myself that I need new work clothes since my work wardrobe needs to be updated anyway. Plus I shopped at reasonably priced places like JJ and FOS. And I do deserve it after being cooped up at home for over a month. And my husband is away so I need a distraction!!!

On a different note, I also signed up for yoga classes here. I seriously need to get my post-preg body (esp the dreaded mummy tummy) into shape. It's the place with the huge banner over Cash Converters along the LDP, you can't miss it. It's about 5 minutes away from home (on a good traffic day). The classes are all held in the evening after 6pm, ideal for working gals like me. I signed up for the promotion price of RM49/month (contract for 18 months). The regular membership is an affordable RM79. Good, eh? I'm going to my first class tomorrow.. wish me luck!

So I've promised myself to stop shopping for stuff I don't really need... starting the day after tomorrow. I'm going to get a yoga mat and some yoga attire, then I'll keep a lock on my purse!

Cry Me A River

As of last Tuesday, yours truly has been released from the chains of confinement! Which I celebrated with... you guessed it... an ice cold Pepsi! Not the one Ms M gave me, which remains on my book-shelf unopened to this day, but one hubs got for me at KFC. Btw, Ray seemed fine and not kembung or anything after b*feeding after I consumed said Pepsi, thank God. Anyway, despite being finally free, I'm not about to go paint my butt blue and run around mooning my enemies a'la Braveheart & co. My mood has slowly been going downhill towards a full-fledged depression as hubs day of departure to that tiny country down south draws near.

I'm currently writing this blog on the bed of our freezing cold hotel room in JB while the rest of my family sleeps. I've just had a crying spell, sobbing quietly as I checked out my notifications in F*book. My eyes are red and puffy and I'm sure I'll wake up with a head-ache in the morning. We drove down earlier in the day with my PILs, crammed in FIL's ancient Merc. Since Ray doesn't have his passport yet (or his MyKid for that matter.. must remember to collect it upon return to KL), we won't be sending hubs all the way across the Causeway. Tomorrow hubs will board a bus from Larkin and head to S'pore on his own. So I'm trying to get all my crying done in the dead of the night so I won't burst into tears during the drive back to KL tomorrow.

My mom told me husbands leave their families all the time to go and cari rezeki on other countries. My own dad, a former diplomat, flew all over the place. When we kids were little we'd follow him, but we stopped after my dad got posted to Phnom Penh which is a pretty scary place to raise kids. So we saw him like 2 times a year for three years. And even my FIL left the family behind up to months at a time when he was working with the government during younger days. My BFF's husband is away for weeks each month for the family biz. And look at all those foreign workers who leave their families by the boat load to work in other countries. So I'm not the only crying wife with young kids in the world, though it certainly feels that way.

Isn't it weird that other people are pouring into the country to work here while our citizens are finding jobs in other countries? It makes you realise that there's always people who have a harder life than yours.

Okay, obviously I'm talking gibberish from the lack of sleep and bodily fluids.. so I'd better stop right here. Hope to write again in a better mood.

South of The Border

Tomorrow marks my hub's last day at his current work place, here. He's been there since it first started operations in 2003. Hubs decided that he hasn't gotten where he wants to be in the hotel employee hierarchy after four years, so he's decided to quit and move on to greener pastures. For most Malaysian hotel workers, apparently it's the trend to seek job opportunities overseas. Anyone who knows the current conditions of working in the Malaysian hotel industry would totally understand. I read an newspaper article about this a while back. The hot job spots of the moment are Macau and Dubai.

Anyway, hubs applied for and successfully landed a job in Singapore here. He'll be starting work there in mid-November and will be under contract for two years. So where does that leave me and the kids, you ask? After much discussion, it was decided that while hub's new job will pay loads more than his current one, it will still not be enough to guarantee financial freedom for our little family in case I stopped working and moved with the kids to Singapore. Plus have you heard about the outrageous living costs down there? Since I currently have a reasonably well-paying job at one of the top employers in the country, I'll continue working in KL and move back to my parent's house with the kids. Singapore's just a few hours drive away (less than an hour by plane), so hubs can come back to KL practically every week or we could go down there occasionally (I'm dreading boarding a bus with a baby and a toddler so hubs better save up for plane tickets!!).

I'm having mixed feelings right now. It's a wonderful opportunity for hubs but at the same time I can't help feeling selfish. The longest I've been apart from hubs since we got married is five days (he had a conference in Bali). I'm going to miss him to bits but I'm more worried about the kids. Eez is really manja with his Papa and waits for him to come home from work every day. Ray is still so tiny and hasn't really had a chance to bond with hubs yet.

I'm really lucky to have great friends and a fantastic family to support me in KL. My mom has already had my brother's room repainted and cleared out for us to move into since it's bigger than my old room. And BFF Ms M has promised lots of girlie outings without husbands and kids!

So I'm on auto-pilot right now.. counting down the days until he leaves. The sad thing is that he won't be here to provide moral support when I go back to work next month! Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.. meanwhile, I keep telling myself to be strong....

Tradional vs Modern

I never thought I'd be the type of person to cave under pressure. Maybe it's because I work full-time and I'm used to being independent and active. The thing is, this confinement is killing me! While I was preggers with Ray and still working I had grand ideas on how to fully utilize my maternity leave. You know.. do it the traditional way like eating pegaga, wearing my bengkung for the full 44 days, eating jamu, jaga makan, wearing socks 24/7, not going out... I got some pegaga plants a friend and planted them in a pot in my back-yard. I even googled and saved all sorts of healthy pantang recipes to try out.

Now, 3-and-a-half weeks into my confinement, I feel my resolve weakening. I've eaten ulam pegaga about 3 or 4 times only. I've had pizza twice and McD a few times. And during this first week of Raya I'm ashamed to admit my socks and bengkung have been sitting in my wardrobe! On the 2nd day of Raya my MIL actually let me follow them to visit the houses of 2 relatives. Some of you traditionalists must be shaking your heads in disapproval. Okay, I'm not so proud of myself, either! I do take the jamu every day, though. And also the jeli ibu gamat my dad got from Langkawi. And instead of socks I wear my fluffy bedroom slippers. And apart from my mom's birthday dinner and the Raya visits I haven't gone out.

But.. the bengkung is a torture in itself. During the first week the bidan urut put chalk and lime juice on my tummy before strapping me in. Nice and hot plus not so messy but hard to put on by yourself. After my massage sessions ended I couldn't be bothered to mix up the chalk and lime juice so I just used the Minyak Herbanika from Nona Roguy. Then a friend gave me her left over Herbanika Barut to use. Aiyoo.. first you have to cook the thing with tamarind juice into a paste. Nak pakai is another thing... so messy. And later in the afternoon the paste will dry and harden all over your tummy under the bengkung and start to itch! So I used that about 3 times before reverting to just the minyak. I've promised hubs I'll start wearing it again next week... hmmmm...

As I've mentioned before, my mom has a real modern approach when it comes to confinement. She's not really that strict on what I eat as long as it's not too spicy or contains anything sejuk. Her usage of black pepper in the preparation of my meals is quite moderate though she did make me these nasty ginger pickles to eat with my rice. My MIL is more traditional. She cooks me a lot of fish sprinkled liberally with ginger and black pepper and all sorts of other good, healthy pantang type dishes. Unlike during my first confinement, this time I can drink as much water as I want as long as it's not icy or refrigerated. I'm also not allowed to go up and down the stairs too much. So I sort of swing back and forth in my confinement practices, depending on where I'm currently staying!

In the end, I'm trying to keep a balance between the two. I'm eating as healthily as I can and am putting off going out for another week or so. Meanwhile, the bottle of Pepsi given to me by Ms M waits faithfully on top of my wardrobe...

Eid Mubarak

Okay... I've been a naughty girl.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. To celebrate, my dad treated the whole family to a Japanese dinner here. The whole family including me and the baby, that is. My mom is quite modern-minded. She doesn't care that I'm still in my confinement. She had 3 of her kids overseas and as she put it, "Takde pantang-pantang pun.. kalau tak, sape nak jaga korang anak-beranak! Sihat jugak.." (If my MIL knew.. abis I.. but that's another story!). I'm happy to report that I can fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans! Okay, so they were my fat jeans and I still have a mummy tummy, but I'm still happy about it. Hahaha...

So anyway, the food there was great! I'm not a big fan of sushi or sashimi so I stuck to the tempura and teppanyaki. Definitely value for money! Ray behaved fairly well on his first outing. Our table was in the corner so I was able to discreetly b*feed him. After that he just lepak in the stroller... I think he was like confused 'cos despite yawning every 10 minutes he didn't fall asleep until we left!

However, after the success of last night I think I'm going to put off going out with Ray for another few weeks or so. The peace and quite of a hotel is one thing, but I'm not ready to face mass crowds at shopping malls! Kesian kat Ray also.. he's still such a tiny little guy. Let's see how I feel once the invites for Raya open houses start coming in though... :-)

On that note, it's past midnight so it's officially the first day of Syawal. I'd like to wish all Muslims a Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri and Maaf Zahir & Batin. For those going back to the kampung during the holidays, drive safely and hope to see you back in KL safe and sound.

Cabin Fever

Okay.. I can't help it. I absolutely must blog about my new baby. Since giving birth a little over a week ago I've found that my brain has stopped being in working-mommy mode and reverted to mush. All I can think about are my kids... plural! I still can't believe it... I'm really sorry, I'm in my confinement. The only thing I can think about right now are babies and everything baby related. I can't even read the newspaper anymore since it's full of sad, bad stuff. The only thing I can stomach right now is light, fluffy, fun chic-lit!

I was lying on my bed earlier today, stiff as a board (the makcik urut had tied my bengkung extra tight today) and trying to think about something other than how fabulous an ice-cold Pepsi would taste right then. So I thought about a subject for my latest blog. Lo and behold.. right next to me was the perfect subject! A tiny little bundle slightly longer than the pembaris panjang we used in school. His hair was all soft and feathery from his daily bath (administered expertly by my mom) and sticking in all directions. Despite me bundling him up snugly in the kain bedung, he still managed to poke both hands out stick-'em-up style. His face was still slightly flushed from his recent feeding and his tiny rosebud mouth was pursed as if he was thinking about some huge problem. Ladies and gentleman, my newborn son.

I'd totally forgotten how hard it is to take care of a newborn even though my first son is only 2 years old. You know... Changing the baby's diapers only to have him soil it 10 seconds after you've finally secured the tapes while trying to avoid crushing the umbilical cord stump. Changing his whole outfit and kain bedung because somehow he's managed to pee through the leg-holes of his diapers. Trying not to smother the baby while breastfeeding. Checking to see that he's breathing every 10 minutes or less. Obsessing about his slight jaundice - how do you know if it's serious?! Dealing with sore nips since this time you intend to exclusively breastfeed despite people advising you otherwise. Remembering to always support the baby's head and neck.

Hmmm.. this motherhood stuff... really stressful sometimes. But at the same time it's sooo rewarding.

Introducing...

Name: Mohd Rayhan Aiman bin Mohd Rizal @ Ray
DOB: 24 September 2007
TOB: 1.20pm
Weight: 2.95 kg
Height: 47cm
Likes: sleeping, drinking Mama's milk, being hugged
Dislikes: having my clothes taken off

Mama says I didn't give her much trouble when I was still in her tummy and I had a pretty smooth ride out, too. I hope I grow up to be tall, big and strong like my big brother, Eez and my Papa.

The Sound of Music

This post is a spin-off from Mommy at Home's post on how she met her husband. It may or may not be as interesting, but since I've got nothing better to do except stare at the walls waiting for labour to start, here we go...

I met my hubs, R thru a trustworthy source - my oldest and dearest friend, Ms M. He was her chat buddy from mIRC (those were the days...a/s/l?). I'd actually met him before once in 1999 I think... he drove us to Puduraya to buy bus tickets to Pangkor. Masa tu not much of an impression la since we were all nerdy uni students and I was strictly banned from having a boyfriend while I was still studying. Haha. I completely forgot about him afterwards.

Fast forward a couple of years to 2003. Ms M and I were checking out the sales at Lot 10 when she got a call from R telling her that he'd just got back from Langkawi and would like to meet up with her. I'd been accompanying Ms M to meet her chat buddies loads of times so I didn't mind.

I'd just come out of the fitting rooms at Guess with this really cute skirt which I ended up buying (and must slim down enough to fit into again), when this tall guy in an orange football jersey and cap came up to me and said, "Hanna kan? I'm R. Ms M's friend?" I was like, how did he recognise me? (He later told me he had a hunch! Haha.) Later the three of us headed to Dome where Ms M and R chatted while I remained mute (as usual) and concentrated on my chicken & mushroom pie. Honestly, I must have said about 5 words the entire time. I'm like that with strangers, I guess.

A week later Ms M called me and said R had invited us to a show at his then workplace, here. It was actually a dinner show where the entertainment was a group of mat sallehs who performed songs from The Sound of Music. The dinner was quite good, typical Austrian fare I think, and the show was great. At one point they picked members of the audience to join them in dancing on stage and of course R got picked! Later he treated us to supper at the coffee house where again I was painfully shy and contributed about 3 words to the conversation.

I remember Ms M asking me later, "He's nice, isn't he? U suka dia tak?" I replied, "Err.. he's ok. U go out with him la." Then Ms M said, "Eh hello, I'm engaged okay. Remember?" Oh yeah, right.

The next day at work I got a text from R. It went something like this: "Hi. R here. I got your numer from Ms M. Is that OK?"

Me, being sarcastic: "Err... ok. Bukannya boleh pulangkan balik pun."

R: "If you don't like it then I'll just delete it."

Me: "Yeah, right. It's ok, really. I'm really busy right now."

R: "Sorry. I'll call u later. Can I call u later?"

Me (what's with this guy?): "Yeah, ok, whatever."

10 seconds later, Me: "You gave my number to R????"

Ms M: "Why not? He said he likes u. He asked if u had a bf. I said not at the moment."

Me: "Oh God."

R did call me later that nite and we talked on the phone for about 2 hours. My parents were both away at the time which made it much easier. He asked me out the next day and I shyly said yes. He drove all the way from Ampang to pick me up and we ended up going to Rasta chaperoned by Ms M and her then-fiance, F. We went out nearly every nite after that, mostly to Rasta, Sri Hartamas... makan² type places.

Our first proper outing about 2 weeks after the SOM show we went to Mid-Valley Megamall where we watched Johnny English (starring Rowan Atkinson!!), of all movies. Later over dinner at Nando's he gave me 2 silver rings which he'd had engraved - one with my name and one with his. He sort of proposed that we go steady (so high-school) and I actually agreed. I thought my heart was going to explode, I was so surprised!

The next day he took me to meet his mom at a friend's shop in Hartamas, which was totally unexpected. I almost died from nervousness. And again a few days later when we "bumped" into his whole family at KLCC.

My family of course were all kecoh² that I finally had a boyfriend. My aunts especially had been pestering me since I graduated in 2000... you know, all that crap about workaholics and andartus and stuff. In fact I remember my kakak saying before we went out on one of our dates : "You're going out with a guy? I don't believe it! If Hanna's going out with a guy then you can kerat my little finger!" (which she still owes me, by the way). So you can just imagine my reputation among my family.

It turned out that my mom's family knows his mom's family since both are from JB (kampung sebelah-sebelah, uncles played footie together, grandmas pegi mengaji together, yadda yadda yadda). Even my dad's family knew his dad's family from Penang. R was in the same school as Ms M's fiance. And so on and so forth. Dah jodoh, as the old people say.

We got engaged the same year in December. I can still remember the suspense when he sat down to formally ask for my hand from my dad. He still won't tell me exactly what my dad said. "You know, the usual." My aunts were ecstatic... their niece was laku after all! They immediately set about planning my wedding with my mom right down to the dresses my little cousins were going to wear.

Our wedding was in August, 2004. We had our nikah and reception at my parents house in KJ and the bertandang ceremony here. My hantaran was done by my paternal grandma, Tok Kecik while the groom's side was done by R's mom. I'll dig up my photos some time and post them.

You know.. I could go on forever about the early days of our relationship. I remember practically everything. How we woke each other up in the morning to go to work. How on his days off he'd drive all the way to KJ to pick me up and send me to work, even though I had a car. You know how couples sometimes dress alike, with matching shirts? We did that! I know it's cheesy but I thought it was so romantic at the time. We still do actually, except now with our son included.

So that's my story... It's fun to get nostalgic once in a while. We've been married for 3 years already with baby #2 due anytime soon. How time flies!

I might be taking a short break from all online activities to welcome the arrival of #2 so I'll see you guys when I see you!

What is a Fluffy Head?

fluffy [flŭf'ē] - adjective, fluff·i·er, fluff·i·est.

1.	of, resembling, or covered with fluff.

2.	light or airy: a fluffy cake.

3.	having little or no intellectual weight; superficial or frivolous: fluffy thinking.

head [hěd] - noun

1.	the upper part of the body in humans, joined to the trunk by the neck, containing the brain, eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.

2.	the corresponding part of the body in other animals.

3.	the head considered as the center of the intellect, as of thought, memory, understanding, or emotional control; mind; brain Inspired by the state of my son's head when he wakes up from his nap. Pic above taken when he was 11 months old.