I've been going thru a kind of personal crisis lately. I've started thinking about my life, the things I've done, choices I've made and the direction I'm heading to now. I never thought my life would be this way. It was never what I planned at all.
I see the lives of my friends and family, how perfect or unjust they are, a mixture of experiences and situations and backgrounds that I sometimes envy but also sometimes bersyukur that it's not happening to me. MILs from hell, loads of money and vacations abroad, attentive or inattentive spouses, unruly children, divorce, new babies, fantastic jobs, no money and a pile of debts. It's happening all around me, and I do my best to sift through the lot and jadikan sebagai iktibar dan pengajaran. All these experiences have taken me back to my beginnings, back to God. I'm working harder to be a good Muslim so that God will light my way and protect me in all this darkness.
In the light of the latest challenge God has thrown my way, I've decided that I'm going to stand up and fight. I refuse to lie down and cry my eyes out. I believe that there is a purpose and hikmah to this, whether it's meant to be a catalyst for a major change in myself or just to make me open my eyes and see what's going on, wallahu'alam. I am a strong Muslim woman. I am a wife. I am a mother. Just see how strong I can be, you'll probably be surprised.
After much inner-searching and contemplation, I've decided the only purpose and meaning of my life is my family. My husband and children. My parents and PILs. My siblings. Being a banker is only secondary. Money is easy come, easy go. But a family and true love, these things are a gift. Ya Allah, make me stronger. A good Muslim, good wife, a good daughter, a good mother, that's all I ask. Bless my family, and make us healthy and happy always. Amin.
Am I making sense? Probably not. I am feeling a little crazy today.
I see the lives of my friends and family, how perfect or unjust they are, a mixture of experiences and situations and backgrounds that I sometimes envy but also sometimes bersyukur that it's not happening to me. MILs from hell, loads of money and vacations abroad, attentive or inattentive spouses, unruly children, divorce, new babies, fantastic jobs, no money and a pile of debts. It's happening all around me, and I do my best to sift through the lot and jadikan sebagai iktibar dan pengajaran. All these experiences have taken me back to my beginnings, back to God. I'm working harder to be a good Muslim so that God will light my way and protect me in all this darkness.
In the light of the latest challenge God has thrown my way, I've decided that I'm going to stand up and fight. I refuse to lie down and cry my eyes out. I believe that there is a purpose and hikmah to this, whether it's meant to be a catalyst for a major change in myself or just to make me open my eyes and see what's going on, wallahu'alam. I am a strong Muslim woman. I am a wife. I am a mother. Just see how strong I can be, you'll probably be surprised.
After much inner-searching and contemplation, I've decided the only purpose and meaning of my life is my family. My husband and children. My parents and PILs. My siblings. Being a banker is only secondary. Money is easy come, easy go. But a family and true love, these things are a gift. Ya Allah, make me stronger. A good Muslim, good wife, a good daughter, a good mother, that's all I ask. Bless my family, and make us healthy and happy always. Amin.
Am I making sense? Probably not. I am feeling a little crazy today.
3 comments:
PMS? coz sometimes hormones escalate ur emotions too.
I agree... family is everything. Work, money is secondary. We'll end up in heaven whether we're rich or poor.
*hang in there*
Next Friday : busy?
Everything happens for a reason has now a new meaning for me. In times of trouble or joy, direct your focus to God. He should come first and all else will be blessed. Money is important but we all know where that should stand in our lives. Some people go on without a job for a long time and are still living their lives as if they're still drawing a salary. How do they do it? The Boss up there is takes care of things when your heart's for Him first.
I've stopped obsessing about my ideals. Afterall, having a home (or house) without if first being filled with LOVE is no use. There won't be happiness. Again, happiness and joy comes from God.
And that's the only thing that is SO REAL.
God bless, Han. We learn.
Chuff
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