Mi Casa... Finally!!!

** View from the sliding doors which overlook the minuscule front yard **

After months and months of endless legal wrangling, reams of paperwork and parting of ways with cash in various denominations, we finally received the keys to our house yesterday. I didn't notice it until a friend pointed it out - the date was the all-auspicious 08.08.08! So now I can honestly say that something good happened to me on that date.

I went over to see the house today to install new padlocks and check for any defects. Apart from a few busted light bulbs and the thick layer of dust on the floors, the house is in good condition. I really salute the previous owners for taking such good care of the house. It just needs a good cleaning up, a new coat of paint in the living room and on the front gate and we're all set. We're not planning any renovations just yet so we can start moving in pretty soon.

So now my mind is already occupied with figuring out how I'm going to decorate. Isn't that the best thing about having a house? The previous owners had already installed kitchen cabinets and built-in wardrobes in 3 of the 4 rooms, so we just have to buy our basic furniture and appliances. I've been busy online looking up various ID sites and poring over colour palettes. Hubs doesn't blink an eye when I suggest painting the living room pink. I honestly don't know if he's just humouring me or ignoring me!

One thing I do know is I don't want to go beige and brown. Not that I have anything against those two colours personally, it's just that it's just so... cosy and boring and neutral. Like my mom's living room.. *snigger snigger* . We used to have a maroon and grey living room but my mom remodeled it over the years and changed the sofas, carpeting, flooring, wall colour and curtains until everything somehow or the other ended up being either beige or brown. My dad complained about bumping into furniture that blended in with the walls and floor. My sisters complained about the browness of everything. Even Tom our ancient cat blended in with the carpets and got stepped on. So in a moment of temporary madness bought on by brown fever, my mom decided to paint the hallway walls green! Not a nice, light, minty apple green. But a really GREEN green reminiscent of Amazon rain forests and cows rolling in the meadows. Which of course next to our brown living room, looked horrific. Even Eez said confusedly, "Mom... blue?" To which I patiently replied, "No, sorry.. it's green." Three days later, my sister texted me at work: "green walls are gone! back to original beige colour." Hallelujah. It feels like home again.

So anyway, I can't wait to start on our house. God knows if we'll ever have any spare money ever again and when we'll finish, but we'll get there. Granted, the front yard is the size of a postage stamp and the you can cross the rooms in four big steps, but at least it's all ours. I would love to have something like this:

Isn't it pretty? Insya-Allah....... aminnnnnnnnnn.....

Entourage

I read this article recently, and it kinda freaked me out a little. As a full-time working mom, I do depend on others to take care of my kids. Yes, we have a maid (or rather, my mom does) who helps look after the boys and do the housework, but it's my mom who mainly watches the kids. Through some kind of excellent timing and God's will, my mom retired right around the time I gave birth to #2 last year, so we were able to pull #1 out of the day-care center he attended and keep him at home with the baby. It's only when my mom goes to her religious classes or mengaji that the kids are left home alone with the maid. In the afternoons and evenings, my sisters are home from school/work, so the boys are always surrounded by at least one member of the family practically at all times.

Whenever I'm at home and during weekends, I try not to depend on the maid too much to look after the boys. Indeed, even my mom "advises" me once in a while to look after my own kids when I'm at home since I work all day. My mom says, "What will happen if something happens to this maid? Like the old one when she had to go back suddenly?" She tells me to create a stronger bond with my kids. Let them depend on ME and not on other people.

Sure, of course I want to! And I do the best I can, from bathing to washing to changing to feeding to putting them to bed. As often as I can, all by myself. I treasure the time spent alone with my kids and my husband. I'm lucky that R is about as hands-on with the boys as I am. He helps bathe #1 (belum berani to do so with #2), feeds them, prepares their bottles, looks after them when I need some mommy time.... When we go out, we take the 1-1 approach: if I'm holding #2 or pushing his stroller, R takes care of #1. And vice versa. Die la if nak take care of both of them alone, right? #1 is at that bouncy, jumpy, run-around disobedient age. I don't have elastic arms and eyes in the back of my head, I know my limits. I can take both boys out on car-trips by myself but so far I haven't brought both of them on outings alone yet. I can handle them separately, but not together at the same time in a public place! That would be mommy suicide.

To me, I guess, you have to set boundaries. You have to know your limits. Sure, there's Supergirl and Wonder Woman but they didn't have kids! Don't be afraid to ask for help but don't take advantage of it either or you'll end up being over-dependent on it. Like when I was planning #1's party recently. I knew there was no way in h*ll I could go it alone since I work and am pretty much useless, so I roped in MIL & SIL. MIL cooked pretty much everything (honest confession.. some hostess I am. Haha.). SIL helped with the decorations. Honestly, the only things that were 100% mine were the party packs and the Kung-Fu Panda Pinata. Which took me like 4 days to make. In the end we all had a good time and no one was overly burdened and we all still like each other. See?

I try not to focus too much on the fact that my kids spend more of their waking hours with other people instead of me. If I did, I'd go crazy, kill my boss and blow up my office. Then I'd be sent to jail where I'd get to spend even less time with my family. Yeah, there are some days when I feel like I can't cope with everything and I feel tired and depressed and hopeless. Everyone has their bad moments. So I take each day as it comes and hug my boys when I can.

In today's topsy-turvy world, you have to get help where you can get it. Tak kisah la... from parents ke, family ke, friends ke, domestic help ke... But don't lose sight of the ultimate goal which is a close-knit, happy, healthy family. Treat everyone as you want to be treated in return. Be kind, be courteous and never diss other people because of the way they handle their lives. SAHM ke... WAHM ke... WOHM ke... we're all mothers and we all deserve each other's respect and support.

If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail

Honestly, I really hated motivational quotes like this post's title. Remember in Year 4 or 5 they'd make you write a quote in your exercise book in cursive writing (who uses cursive nowadays anyway???) and then you'd get to draw a colourful pattern at the bottom of the page. One that stuck in my mind after all these years is "buat baik berpada-pada, buat jahat jangan sekali" which I had to write down in Year 5 courtesy of Pn Eshah. Firstly' cos I still don't know exactly what berpada-pada means and I remember I did this really cincai cloud scallopy pattern that I got scolded for.

Wait a minute.. what was this post supposed to be about? Oh yeah... planning!

At the moment I'm planning my son's 3rd birthday party. Remember when I said that I didn't plan to do the big party thing this year? Looks like I will be throwing a party, after all. Though my parties tend to be more open-house sit around and makan-makan affairs, we've still got a lot to plan. Any mom who's ever organized a birthday bash for her kids will understand the stress, anxiety and sleepless nights it takes. And that's just planning the gift bags! There's the cake, the food (which has to cater for all types of palates - kids and adults and must not contain anything kids can choke on or be allergic to), decor (balloons, streamers, banners), the entertainment (the birthday kid knocking the cake off the table doesn't count), the guest list (nak ajak boss ke tak???) and so on and so forth....

At the moment I'm stressing over the gift bags. I don't really have much time to browse and plan and draw charts and hold family meetings since I work full-time and all. So far most of my planning has been at work where I curi-curi Google with the screen minimized and covered by spreadsheets and make quick notes on random bits of paper which I stuff into my handbag to be deciphered later at home.

I have been to some fantastic birthday parties where the moms really outdid themselves. I'm giving most of the credit to the moms since I know that all the dads did is shell out the money and say, "Suka hati u la, yang!" like they're supposed to. Hahaha. So I do have high expectations to live up to, I suppose.

Please please super moms.. I need help. Tips? Suggestions? Suppliers? Anything!!! I've got 2 weeks to pull it all together.

Happy Happy Happy

Aaaahhhh... July. To me it will always be the month of birthdays.. mainly 'cos mine's in it! With our extended families, there's a family member's birthday in practically every month, but July's the multiple whammy:

Jan - Ms M (honorary sista)
Feb - Dida (kid sista) and Tom our ancient cat
Mar - FIL
April - Eza (my kakak)
May - my Babah
June - hubs
July - Erfan (my nephew), MINE, Eez & BIL
Aug - SIL
Sept - Ray, Shasha (sista #3)
Oct - my Mak
Nov - hmmm... none (yet)
Dec - Ayim (my neice), Aizad (bro), MIL

Not to mention our assorted cousins, relatives, friends and kids-of-friends scattered thru out the year. We have a few birthday do's lined up this month, just about every weekend in fact.

We're actually not sure yet what we're going to do for Eez's 3rd birthday at the end of the month.. Probably a small party with close friends and family which will be held at the IL's in M*wati. I can't find the time or energy to plan a full-scale birthday extravaganza. Mine will certainly be relegated to a family dinner combo with BIL's birthday.. something low-key and simple. Gifts optional.. actually hub's has already given me mine. Which is lovely and something I really love!

I've been going thru a roller-coaster of emotions for the past week or so. I mean, I'm entering a new decade! I'm not going to be in my "late twenties" anymore. The big 3-0! Crikey. I'm going to be ticking the ">30" or "30-39" age group boxes from now on. Sure sure age is nothing but number. You are as old as you feel. There are some days when I get home from work and both boys are still going on at full steam at midnight and I feel like I'm 60. But there are other days, good days, when I'm on a date night with hubs, just the two of us... and I feel like I'm 18! And there are the days when the four of us are enjoying some family time and I look at my beautiful boys and think I'm just the right age.. 29 going on 30 with two wonderful kids, a loving husband, a stable job and a house on the way.

We'll see what tomorrow brings yeah.. now I just have to figure out what I'm getting everyone.